For the first time in almost 2 years I am unemployed, with no job on the horizon. This is a choice I made because I want to be a stay at home mom. It happened a little sooner than I had planned because I was having a real hard time at work, physically and emotionally. Retail is hard, but it’s even harder when you are 7 months pregnant. I was always on my feet, so I was hobbling around like I was broken. I already sort of have a short temper, but a few times in the last few weeks I’ve gotten visibly mad, or cranky with customers. And some days I found myself angry at more than just the customers. Oh and on days I work I find myself gorging on candy, because that’s the only kind of consumable they sell in a movie/video game store. I’ve eaten more starburst in the last 3 months than I probably have in my life.
Well my last day was Saturday, and at the end of my shift I was able to sneak out with no one really noticing. That’s how I hoped it would happen I didn’t want any hoopla, or extra attention. I just wanted to go quietly into the wind.
Now that my last day has come and gone I can focus on myself and baby E, finding a house, and getting this house ready to be moved out of, so cleaning and packing, and more cleaning.
It doesn’t feel like I don’t have a job anymore, I don’t feel unemployed. I am not sure what I expected, but I don’t feel like I wont to go to work at Hastings ever again.
I only worked for a short time while we lived in Japan, so not working isn’t a huge change for me, but I had a social life. Soon enough I’ll have a full time job of Baby Mama. I just hope that I don’t go crazy like I did the first winter here when I was not working yet, I would go to Target just to be around people. I would go to the grocery and talk to anyone who would talk to me. I was desperate for adult human interaction.
I am sure I will be fine, especially if Pauls hours are better. Also it’s likely that we will be living in town, so I won’t really have as much of that feeling of seclusion that I do sometimes in this house.
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