But I have been thinking about my husband and all the ups and downs we have had, the adventures we have had together, all of our experiences. I wonder is it because the military forces us to live our lives the way we do, with long often unpredictable duty hours, frequent separations, and moving every 3ish years, that we have such an open line of communication. I can’t really think of anything I can’t talk to him about. My feelings, my hopes and dreams, our families, or finances. Yeah there are things that no one wants to discuss (money, unless it’s a recent mega millions win) but I can’t imagine being married to someone and not being able to discuss something with them. That person is your partner, your mate, you should be able to discuss things with them.
Being pregnant I often find myself reading pregnancy forums, and I guess third trimester everyone is cranky, because in the December due forum I read most often, there is a lot of complaining (I complain too, so I am not ragging on the complaint department).
Last night I read several different posts where the wife stated “I just can’t talk to my husband about this” and it’s not about things like ooky body issues, or stuff only a pregnant person would understand.
It’s stuff like “I don’t like the name he picked out” Ummmm it’s a child that was made between the two of you, you can’t name your child something you hate… and then there was a “My MIL bought blah blah and I hate it, but I can’t tell him” okay First I love my MIL, but if she wanted to buy us something that we didn’t need or didn’t like I would tell her, and if I felt for some reason I couldn’t tell her you’d be damn sure I’d tell my husband. But I like my MIL and maybe part of that is the reason I wouldn’t be uncomfortable if I needed to discuss something with her.
I’ve seen gripes about money before, women who feel they can’t talk to their husbands about money, or their spending habits. Now that’s just stupid. I think not being able to discuss things, as an adult, with the person you married is just dumb. Now I know many people have discussions, money in particular, that cause fights, Paul and I occasionally have heated discussions about this subject. But with my current situation, harboring a baby human in me, I find myself worrying a little more. So this issue in particular has been a little more frequent, but we usually resolve it within a short time.
I am not one of those people who runs around telling everyone what I think of them or their situation or voicing my opinion, I avoid confrontation and I do have an issue with authority. Talking to people who I feel have an authority over me makes me nervous. Like at work, I don’t like discussing serious matters with my supervisors, it just makes me nervous. I don’t see my husband as an authority figure, I think we are equals,
if anything I am the authority j/k. I think if more people went into a relationship as equals there would be more harmony, and I really think that you should feel comfortable talking to your significant other about anything, even ooky girl stuff.
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