(Beating a dead horse, if you are a long time follower, I’ve been over this time and time again)
I had uttered those words so many times while living in Okinawa, I just couldn’t understand why people would piss and moan about living there. Beautiful views, wonderful people, amazing weather (part of the time, unless you like unpredicted rain, which I grew to like) Sure it can be confusing, living in a foreign country where most locals speak very little if any english, where many road signs are only in Japanese, the whole road system is very confusing at first. Yeah you will miss things, American food, forks, pizza. But there is so much that is amazing to me it outweighed all the bad.
Now a year and a half later, back in the states, I am eating my own words. I think that I have a new kind of depression, Regional Depression. I am not even sure if that’s a kind of depression, maybe it is. But every day I find myself thinking “if I could just go back.”
I now understand how all those wives felt that hated Okinawa, that just wanted out. They counted the days until they could move back to the states. Yeah there are good days, but I can say with 100% of my heart that a bad day in Okinawa, was better than a good day in Montana.
I’ve tried, I really have. I just can’t get down with the weather, it’s either too cold or too hot to play outside, and I love being outside. The short time that being out side is doable we normally do it, but with my pregnancy this summer, I’ve been too miserable to enjoy it.
I just want to go for a walk on the beach, sit in the coffee shop at the mall and people watch, buy all the hello kitty stuff my heart desires. Every night I wish for a handfull of things one of them being the opportunity to go back. I know I can’t stay forever but I want to be there as long as I can, I feel like we were short changed, Paul was deployed almost half the time we were there. He missed so much.
I should be grateful, My husband is home, he’s not deployed, he comes home almost every night, He’s safe.
I just need to suck it up, we have about 16 more months left here and I want to be able to look back and not think of Montana as the shittiest place ever. Maybe I’ll get out today, it’s only about 65 right now, not to hot, not too cold. My new motto “It is what you make it” It’s gonna suck if I let it, Only I can make myself enjoy it here.
Have a lovely day, and remember to find me on Facebook!