Recruiting duty is just a fact of life for a lot of military members who serve until retirement.
It’s no fun, but for us at least, It really could be worse. I’ve heard stories of ruined marriages, infidelity, depression, even suicide.
Paul and I don’t like it but we really aren’t having the worst time in the world. I can think of worse situations. He comes home almost every night, although not always in the best mood.
Some of our biggest complaints are the hours. He works from roughly 8 am to 7-9 pm Monday- Friday and usually a few hours on Saturday and/or Sunday. Also there are often days that begin well before the sun comes up, 4-5 am and those days still don’t end until 7-9. Usually about once a month he’ll have an overnight somewhere, normally in Great Falls, where his supervisor is. The first six-ish months the hours were longer, days were more like 14-16 hours long and he was working just about every day. Thankfully things have gotten better, if you call 12 hour work days better.
I think it would be easier, at least on me, if we were in a more populated area. I have learned from our time here in Helena, that I am not a small town girl. I need a metropolis, at least in driving distance. The biggest big city to us I think is Spokane, WA, which is 7 hours away. The entire state of Montana has a population of less than a million. The Tucson metro area (where I grew up) has a population of more than this whole state.
For Paul there is a lot of pressure. It’s all about numbers, he has to talk to thousands of kids, and get hundreds into his office for meetings. And he has to get roughly two a month to agree to join the Marines. If he fails to meet his daily/weekly/monthly quotas he faces the wrath of shit rolling down hill. He likes his supervisor, he’s a really great guy, but it’s his job to make sure Paul is getting the numbers he is required. We have no ill will towards him, in fact we really like him and his wife, they are great people. But during business hours he is the boss, he is a good boss though, things have been better since he came on board about 7 months ago.
It’s just very hard here because the population is so small, and there is a high instance of drug use, mostly pot smokers. So even if kids want to they have to a. be smart enough and b. be able to piss clean. Many that Paul can even get to say yes, are failing one or both of the above qualities.
Bad days are often, good ones are few and far between. To be completely honest what I mentioned above is about all I know about what Paul does each day. He doesn’t like it, it makes him cranky, so I don’t ask questions when he gets home at night. I try to make our lives as normal as possible so he can come home and forget about work. Until his phone goes off at 1 am, Because one of his kids has a question, or has done something.
So my advice to wives facing recruiting duty, if you can, get a job. Otherwise you will be home alone, a lot. As much as I like my alone time I would go nuts if I didn’t have a job. The first few months here I would go to target or walmart almost every day just to interact with other humans.
Also, do what you can to make life easier for your husband. Don’t expect him to do too much outside of work, because there isn’t much time for him outside work and he’s had a hard enough day, he shouldn’t need to come home and make dinner, or worry about dishes.