Last week I went to go see a chiropractor. It was recommended to me by my hairdresser, because I have been suffering back pain.
I sat in the dimly lit room, with nothing but a black bed thing and a small black desk and spoke to Julie my chiropractor girl (I think she may be younger than me, if not about my age) and we talked about how chiropractors work, and how there are different kinds of chiropractors. Some that contort and crack you, and some that just poke and prod you. She is a poker and prodder.
We talked about different things that could be treated, stomach problems, back pain, headaches, and other pains, just to name a few.
She stood me in front of a mirror and showed me my posture. my right shoulder hung lower than my left. My right hip however was higher than my left. I was all messed up.
I laid down and she moved me around, poked at my back, pulled at my neck, used this thing that made a loud pop noise that helps move your spines back where they should be.
After I left I felt really good. Just all over good. I can’t explain it but I felt different. I felt better.
That was last tuesday.
For the last 8 days I have been almost 100% anxiety free.
I can’t explain it.
Maybe it’s in my head.
Maybe I just want to feel better so bad I have convinced myself that I am better.
Maybe it won’t last.
Maybe after 10 years of mild to severe anxiety, which I have tried to treat through, yoga, meditation, medication, exercise, and more medication, I have finally found a resolution.
One of my big anxieties is fire. I usually unplug all the small appliances and anything that isn’t huge before I leave the house, depending on the level of anxiety that day this can include things as mundane as lamps and chargers.
Yesterday for the first time ever I left the crock pot plugged in and on while I went to work for my 3 hour shift. Not once did i worry that the house had burned down.
My mom and I once joked about how I could crock during the day and not be worried about the house burning down, I said I would plug it into an extension cord and push it to the middle of the empty garage so if it erupted in flames it wouldn’t be near enough to anything to start a house fire. (I never followed through on that plan.)
I also haven’t had any work related anxiety. Usually when heading into work I am afraid I am going to be in trouble, though I know I have done nothing wrong, I am afraid that I have in some way missed something and that I will have someone mad at me.
I went back for a follow up yesterday. And she was surprised at how well my adjustments held up, she was also impressed at my mental health improvements. I was more impressed at my mental health improvements then anything.
For the first time in a long time I feel good, consistently good.
I hope it lasts.