I have been working all week during the day so posts have been few and far between, I apologize for that. Posts from the hike will be coming soon, maybe later if I can pull it together and get my chores done. But first I wanted to talk about weight, and weight loss.

[2 weeks ago]
I weigh 163, I am 5’5”. technically I am overweight. I don’t think really look as bad as I am because I am large chested (38 DD-DDD) I carry about 100 pounds in my boobies. But I am still chubby, and as I have gotten older I carry the weight differently. I’ve always had a pooch, but I also had thick thighs. Now I carry most of my weight in my spare tire and in back fat. I hate back fat. I loathe back fat. I am more embarrassed about my back fat than I am my belly that makes me look 5 months pregnant.
I try to work out but I seriously lack motivation, I do things for like a week then I quit. I am a quitter. That is why my weight has mostly been fat my whole adult life, the lowest I have been since being married (5 years) is 149 and that was in the months after P deployed and I think I just wasn’t eating, and I was in school, like double full time. Outside that, the highest I have been was 175 and that was in Mass.
[me at about 149, September 2009, wearing same shirt as the first picture]
Well now my sister is getting married. I don’t want to be the fat bridesmaid. I am sure I’ll be the bigger of the two but I have 6 months to not be the fat bridesmaid. I also want to be healthy. Paul and I have been talking more and more about starting a family and I don’t want to be a fat preggo, or a fat mom. I want to be fit and healthy.
I am also hella insecure about my body, it affects me daily, constantly, it affects my social life, my sex life, what I eat, where I go. I am sick of my fat ruling my life, and I know the only way to deal with that is to loose it.
So I joined Weight Watchers Online last week. Today is technically one week, but my weigh in date is sunday. I can tell you as of right now I have lost 4 pounds, but I think that is mostly {or all} PMS weight. Also wednesday I ate half the contents of my fridge, at least it felt like it. I have decided I need to earn things I don’t need, you get extra points for exercise, so if i want a desert bar (4 points) I need to do about an hour of exercise, Or a beer (5 points), big glass of wine (7 points), the way I think it works out is 10 min of moderate exercise earns about 3/4 of a point.
Paul and I have also start hiking, we plan to do it every day off we have together that the wether permits. I need to keep up with the bike riding, so far i’ve been doing roughly 10 miles a trip 2 trips a week. I am determined to loose at least 15 total pounds, if not more, by the wedding. I am using it as my destination, the date that I want to succeed by.
I hope others can relate to the trials and tribulations of weight loss. trying to loose has been such a huge part of my life, and failing to loose always seems to be the result. But I am paying for WW advice so I hope that I can stick to it this time around.

About alanamarie26

Marine Wife, Mom, Student. Trying to keep a household running while going to school full time.
This entry was posted in fat, weight, weight watchers. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Weight.

  1. Danafox says:

    Thank you for this post. It is so refreshing to hear a woman talk openly about her weight and all that comes with that. I am too scared to discuss these topics on my own blog and it is so nice to know that I am not struggling with these same issues all by myself. šŸ™‚ Weight affects every aspect of my life too! Thank you for commiserating!

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